The National: Baby, We’ll Be Fine (Pt.2)

(Maybe last night. Maybe tonight. Maybe any night. Does it matter? It does.)

 

(In a nightclub)

(A had disappeared)

 

Some Idiot A Knows: What are you like?

H: (shouting) Can’t hear you. But. You liked that, hey, big fella?

SIAK: Do you want a drink?

H: No, I’ll get me own, thanks.

SIAK: After, you know, the way you were dancing out there, you might fancy a dri …

H: Why don’t you hop it?

SIAK: Sorry?

H: (shouting) No, I’m fine, thanks, really.

 

…

 

(a quieter area of the nightclub)

 

H: Shall we kill him?

Boy: (laughs) He’s a good guy, Husten.

 

H: Dress up like dogs and hit him with a pool cue? Trigger Happy TV style.

Boy: (laughs) If you can find the costumes?

 

H: And a cue. Maybe a pipe I could dismantle from the toilets? Shove it up his arse? 

Boy: (Laughs even more politely)

 

H: C and A were all over each other. For fuck’s sake.

Boy: Nothing you haven’t seen before. She’ll be back.

 

H: I’m gonna go home, buddy. I’m too drunk.

Boy: She won’t like that.

 

H: But …

Boy: Have some water. A diet coke.

H: Diet coke would be nice.

 

SIAK: You’re not going, are you?

H: (whispering to Boy) Please let me kill him.

 

…

 

Boy: There she is.

SIAK: Where have you been?

A: Had a fag outside with C.

H: You smoke now, do you?

A: 

C: 

SIAK: Leave it, Husten.

H: What the fuck do you know?

SIAK: (Holding hands up and backs off) Wow, easy, fella.

Boy: Husten, let it go, will you? This is not gonna make any sense tomorrow morning.

H: It fucking will, C and SIAK are gonna really feel it.

Boy: Husten … .

H: And regret it.

Boy: Husten … . 

 

…

 

H: Why did she do that to us?

Boy: A didn’t do anything to us. Let me ask A for her to take you home.

H: Never heard something so ridiculous.

 

…

 

(outside the club, in a taxi rank)

 

H: What?

A:

H: Can’t you, for once … what was all that about?

A: 

H: Yeah, I know I can’t stand on my feet properly.

A: Pretend. Otherwise the taxi drivers won’t take us.

H: (after a couple of attempts to speak) Feel powerful, do you?

A: (Takes my arm, gets me into a taxi. Finally)

H: Fucking Boy. Go on, A, go back to him.

A: He’s already gone to his.

H: What? You’re coming home with me? That’s really making me laugh … very loud.

A: I have never met a more dumb person like you. 

 

…

 

(in the taxi)

 

H: He’s not taking the shortest route.

A: Boy asked me to take you home and look after you. We were worried.

H: What kind of a bloke is he? I mean is he competing for the fucking Nobel Peace price. For the Look-After-Husten-The-Best-We-Can price? Fuck me.

A: (to the taxi driver) Can you go via Xxxxx Road, please? 

 

…

 

A: (giggle, going through my pockets) Where is your money?

H: You won’t find it anywhere.

A: Husten, we need to pay his fare.

H: Don’t like his moustache, do you? 

Taxi Driver: (he looks back into the mirror and thinks, quite rightly so, another cunt) 

 

…

 

(in my flat)

 

A: We’re not gonna have a nice time together tonight, are we?

H: Nice? Fuck off, A. I just wanna go to bed.

 

…

 

H: What is it with you, women, that once you realise it’s not gonna happen, you have to rub in?

 

…

 

A: Here’s your cup of tea.

H: Oh, I need that … Thanks for taking off my boots and pulling off my jeans, spilling jack and coke in my collar … I was being a twat again, wasn’t I?

A: (puts her finger on my lips) Shhh, just go to sleep.

H: What about you?

A: I’m going on Facebook and Skype Boy.

H: Will you thank him?

A: For what?

 

 

All we gotta do is be brave and be kind.

 

And.

 

I’ve seen this happen in other people’s lives
And now it’s happening in mine

Happening in mine
Happening in mine
Happening in mine
Happening in mine 

 

 

.

Laurent Garnier: The Man With The Red Face

I should have looked.

After her, better.

After her, more.

 

But.

Baby, we’ll be fine.

And.

I’m so sorry for everything.

 

(in bed … spooning)

 

A: What are you doing?

H: Playing with your nipple. Hmmmmph, smelling your hair.

A: Don’t. I haven’t washed my hair since Sunday.

H: Why don’t you ever sniff mine?

A: Don’t know. Stop asking me silly questions. I can pinch your nipple, though.

 

…

 

H: Did it hurt again?

A: It was fine, after a while.

H: Seriously?

A: Let it go, Husten.

H: Why do you let me?

A: Coz, you want to.

H: That’s not very …

A: Just go to sleep.

 

…

 

H: Let me do that macho thing and make it up to you. I’ll go down.

A: I’ve got my bleeding period.

H: Awful pun that.

A: Don’t, Husten. It’s gonna get messy and I won’t enjoy it.

H: It can’t … with a tampon.

A: My belly aches, Husten.

H: All we’ve gotta do is be brave and be kind.

 

…

 

A: You bastard.

H: That’s the right spot?

A: Everywhere is the right spot.

H: (giggle)

 

…

 

A: Look at me.

H: 

A: I love you so much.

H:

 

…

 

Baby, come over, I need entertaining

I had a stilted, pretending day

Lay me down and say something pretty

Lay me back down where I wanted to stay

Just say something perfect, something I can steal

Say, look at me

Baby, we’ll be fine

All we’ve gotta do is be brave and be kind

I pull off your jeans, and you spill jack and coke in my collar

I melt like a witch and scream

I’m so sorry for everything

[repeat]

 

I’m so sorry for everything.

[repeat]

 

 

.

Interpol: Pace Is The Trick (Pt.11)

(On the mobile)

(Finally connecting, no more answer phone)

 

A: I know you have been calling me, Husten.

H: Sorry. 

A: Missed calls on my screen, you know. And I know you know. I would have called you back.

H: Well, I thought you only had one lecture on a Monday, so … forget it. 

A: What’s up? You haven’t called me like this for ages.

H: Where are you? What’s all that noise?

A: I’m in the chippy, eating chips with some mates of my course.

H: In the chippy? Eating chips? Are you really? What happened to your diet?

A: Husten? What do you want?

H: Doing anything tonight?

A: Staying at Boy’s. Why?

H: Nothing. I just … I dunno … wanted to hear your voice.

A: You’re doing that desperate thing again, aren’t you?

H: Oh, aye.

A: Makes you very unattractive.

H: You wish.

A: Fuck you.

H: You’re coming to mine soon?

A: Husten, you’re fucking with me head again.

H: Any chance for, you know what?

A: Know what?

H: You still in that chippy?

A: Whatthefuck are you getting at, Husten?

H: Where’s the noise gone? You know …

A: No, I fuc …. 

H: How is your arse?

A: …

H: I know you have your period.

A: What?

H: Come on!

A: You wanna fuck me up the arse?

H: You’re still in that chippy? Surrounded by your friends? Please tell me they heard you saying that.

A: No they didn’t. I’m outside. And me chips are getting cold.

H: You’re coming to mine?

A: (giggle). Maybe.

 

See how I stun?

 

 

.

Talk Talk: Such A Shame

Last night. It got too much. Talking to. Me young’ns. Just. I have been in two minds writing this post. But. Initially. No spaces. No layout. No blueprint. No rhythm. Hank, Bukowski, kill me. Milena please do so too. 

But. 

Honestly. Have you all gone mad? I wrote a post whilst coming down from a high. On cocaine. Aye, the white stuff. Cocaine. Big deal. So I thought. 

Not so. 

I’ve heard. I read. Had to listen to. Had to read.

I’m ok, alright? Don’t worry. 

 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m so touched. Really am. That you care for me.

But.

I love the stuff.

Can’t get enough of it.

Give me more.

Can’t get enough of it.

 

I love the stuff.

Can’t get enough of it.

Give me more.

Can’t get enough of it.

 

I love the stuff.

Can’t get enough of it.

Give me more.

Can’t get enough of it.

 

Only joking.

No, I am not.

 

Why can’t I have more?

 

I am not an addict.

 

Such a shame.

 

H: You call me at this hour?

A: Can’t sleep. Boy is snoring his head off.

H: Is that him in the background? Fucking hell. I know I snore like, but …

A: Let’s have some dirty phone sex.

H: How does that go?

A: You say something dirty and I say something dirty back.

H: Then what?

A: We have a wank.

H: Luv, I couldn’t get it up even if Scarlett Johansson slipped naked in my bed right now.

H: Is that really Boy in the background? Jesus!

A: He drank too much.

H: You tend to have that effect on people.

A: Was a good night, wasn’t it, the other day?

H: Yeah, I’ll remember that one.

A: My dad was properly shocked like, we had all that coke in one session.

H: You had most of it. It’s a miracle you’re still alive.

A: Can’t believe you took the car to buy straws at 24hrs Tesco.

H: Ahh, fucking hell, forgot about that one. Didn’t like the smell of that £10 pound note. 

A: (giggles) You are mad.

H: So are you.

A: …

H: …

H: (giggles) Fucking hell. Can you not thump him? Roll him onto his belly?

A: I’m gonna try and sleep again.

H: Ok. Such a shame.

A: Whatthefuckever. Love you.

H: Indeedy. Whatthefu(she hangs up)ckever.

 

 

.

Wolf Parade: I’ll Believe In Anything (Final Pt. Pt.2)

Just fucking wait and see.

Soz.

No more fucking.

The swearing I meant.

 

Just wait and see.

 

 

.

Wolf Parade: I’ll Believe In Anything (Final Pt.)

And God says.

 

(on the phone)

 

And she says.

And I say.

And she says.

And I say.

 

I should have slapped you.

Hard.

 

And she says.

You will always be a fucking muppet.

 

And I laugh.

And she laughs.

 

And I say.

And she says.

And I say.

 

Fucking marry me.

 

And she says.

In your wildest dreams.

 

And I say.

I know that.

 

And she says.

What else is being going on?

 

And I say.

Nowt. But. How is Boy?

 

And she says.

Enjoying my hangover.

 

And I say.

Seriously. Why won’t you marry me?

 

And she says.

Coz you are a fucking muppet.

 

And she says.

Boy would marry you though.

 

And I say.

I honestly don’t know why he likes me that much.

 

And she says.

Maybe coz I like you so much.

 

And God is still saying.

 

(a couple of days later)

(Now, to be precise)

 

Any mentioning of me taking Class-A drugs makes my blog popular, does it? Makes me what? Makes me sound like what? Makes me rhyme to the last word of the previous sentence?

 

Fall On Me is not impressed.

 

Now, I know I have the “I say,” “she says,” “God says,” milked enough.

It’s too easy.

To write.

So.

Onto.

Better things.

 

Shall we?

 

 

.

Wolf Parade: I’ll Believe In Anything (Pt.3)

And we said.

Amen.

The Stranglers: Golden Brown (Pt.3)

I’m coming down. From an almighty high.

And she.

And I.

Can’t sleep.

 

And she.

 

Drugs. Don’t ever take them.

No, do.

 

We can’t sleep. For probably another 35 hours.

For another.

Whatthefuckever.

 

And she.

 

I’ll die soon. With my life-style.

Whatthefuckever.

 

Boys and girls. This is what drugs do. To.

A perfectly clear-headed, quite intellectual-ish, pretty boy.

Used to be.

A perfectly clear-headed, quite intellectual-ish, pretty boy.

 

V M Husten.

 

And she.

A.

Whatthefuckever.

Why? 

Milena. 

Why?

 

 

And she.

Asks.

Another cup of tea?

 

And I say.

Are you out of your mind? Caffeine?

 

And she says.

Don’t bite my head off.

 

And I say.

Sorry.

 

And she says.

Maybe no more coke.

 

And I say.

That would be nice.

 

And she says.

It would. 

But not for me.

 

And I say.

Whatthefuckever.

 

And she says.

Go to bed. You fucking whimp.

 

And I say.

I will. But I don’t like you me calling that.

 

And she says.

Sorry.

 

And I say.

And don’t fucking tell me off.

 

And she says.

Whatthefuckever.

 

And I say.

Come to bed with me.

 

And she says.

In a while.

 

And I say.

You don’t want to, do you?

 

And she says.

Don’t get paranoid on me.

 

And I say.

Your sister …

 

And she stops me.

Right there and then.

 

And, boys and girls, this is is what happens when two people who love each other.

Take drugs. And get drunk.

 

When.

They.

 

Have nothing more to say to each other.

Have nothing more to do.

 

Other then to insult each other.

 

They tell each other to go to bed.

Whilst they can’t.

 

Coz she is doing whatever she is doing.

And I am typing.

 

And we will have the most awful sex imaginable.

 

Soon.

 

And we won’t sleep for another 35 hours.

 

 

 

Wolf Parade: I’ll Believe In Anything (Pt.2)

(Not so long ago)

 

H: Mozziemoll! This is for me?

A: Only for you.

H: A present? What for?

A: For reasons you will never understand.

H: Oh, wow!

A: Just act natural, will you please?

 

H: This is for shagging your sister?

A: ….

H: Maybe not the right thing to say right now.

 

A: Open it.

H: I am not very good with these things.

 

H: Oh wow! The right colour and all.

A: (giggle) You are not very good with this, are you?

H: Never know how to react. Not used to getting presents.

A: Oohh, aren’t you, you big, fat soppy sops. (hug and a kiss)

H: Big fat soppy sops? (hug and a kiss x2)

A: Shut it. 

 

A: One thing.

H: What?

A: Don’t show it to Boy.

H: Why not?

A: He gave it to me this morning.

H: Ey?

A: …

H: This is so fucked up.

 

 

.

Wolf Parade: I’ll Believe In Anything

A: Slap me.

H: I just did.

A: Harder.

H: I can’t.

A: Why not?

H: You’re not smiling anymore.

A: Is this a better smile?

H: No.

 

A: What does a woman have to do to please you?

H: Your smile was not genuine.

A: Fucking hell, Husten. Have you lost the plot recently, or what?

H: Completely.

 

H: Can I just say?

A: What?

H: Don’t know where your dad got that coke from, but how good is this stuff?

A: It’s because you haven’t had some for a long while.

H: Will you thank him?

A: I will. Now, let’s get on with it.

 

H: We should do something. Something different. Go out or something. Pub?

A: No, we’re not. We’re coked up, we’re gonna regret it … let’s get on with it … don’t be so ashamed about what you have written.

 

H: Let’s call Boy.

A: Husten …

H: Ok, ok, sorry, sorry.

 

A: So, do you wanna continue?

H: Have another line? Me thinks me nose had enough.

A: Husten … don’t play games. I’m losing my patience.

H: Ah, acting out the scene I wrote? Dunno. Where were we?

A: You’re about to slap me. Hard.

H: Shall we start from the beginning again?

A: Whatever it takes.

…

H: (back of my hand raised) … I can’t. … Just wanna kiss you.

A: Fucking muppet.

 

 

.