(a conversation recorded on a mobile acting as a dictaphone)
(in a garden)
(while A is smoking)
(cold)
(very cold)
(tho it wasn’t)
(a selection)
(tho it wasn’t)
(of the dictaphone recording)
(I knew the conversation was gonna be good)
(tho it wasn’t)
(something about the air)
(cold)
(very cold)
(tho it wasn’t)
A: I wanna have kids.
H: Of course you do. When?
A: At some point.
H: Typical.
A: Since you have a girlfriend …
H: Wow! Easy there.
…
A: Where is Boy?
H: Now you are gonna tell me you wanna get married too, right?
A: I wanna have kids, Husten. It’s just, well, you are …
…
H: Boy!! She is pissed. (30 seconds later) Take care of your girlfriend, will you? I gotta text mine.
Boy: (giggling)
A: Don’t you fucking laugh! I am not pissed.
…
A: A baby. Just a little baby. Just …
H: Just what? Just social pressure? Just social status?
A: Responsibility.
H: Are you mad?
A: You will never understand, will you? (sniggers) Social status? … I mean … What question is that to ask?
H: You’re properly behaving like your working class background and I am impressed.
Boy: I am not.
Boy + H: (laughing)
A: (sniggers) Social status … Why don’t you fuck each other?
Boy: Because of social status?
(A walks off)
H: Ooops. Obviously, not the right thing to say, buddy.
Boy: Why is it always me?
H: It isn’t, but that’s why I love you.
Boy: That’s why you wanna have my babies.
Boy + H: (laughing their heads off)
H: Do me a favour, will you? Go and ask her if she wants to swap my Times for her Sun.
Boy: (suddenly serious) A reads The Times, Husten, and The Sun. You just read your own blog.
H: I know she does, Boy, bloody hell, where is this suddenly coming from?
Boy: I need to go inside, get another drink, sorry.
H: I think you do.
