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Monthly Archives: July 2011

Be nice to my friends, she said.

Fuck off, I said.

I’ll give you a blow-job, she said.

Hate ‘m and you know it, I said.

(giggles)

Just be nice, she said.

Can’t, I said.

Too full of myself, I added.

Fine, she said.

 

 

Had a not-so superficial acquaintance with a Russian woman last week.

Gorgeous girl. Full of life. Intelligent. Manipulative. Sweet. Wanted to play me. Probably did. Bless.

Not what you think.

Russian girlfriend, ex-girlfriend of a colleague. Asked me how she could get her ex, my colleague back. Wanted my help. Cried too.

Full of typical Russian woman-man power relations in relationships talk.

Full of …

How …

Nevermind.

It was painful.

Her despair.

As if I could help them get back together again.

Her dishing the dirt. Of my colleague. And a friend.

Soz.

But she isn’t gonna get him back.

She couldn’t have known about Milena.

Milena.

Wasn’t Russian.

She lifted her arms and she floated away.

Just floated away.

Didn’t give a damn what the other girls said.

Just floated away.

Well a man has two reasons for things that he does.

The first one is pride and the second one is love.

The final one is Milena.

 

 

 

Sometimes.

Sometimes you have to be weak.

And give in.

To.

And be ungrateful.

And be horrible.

And.

Think.

Write the unthinkable. The unimaginable.

But.

My mum is not a nice person.

As always.

Lost in a maze of my own making.

And.

I have seen the future in the tracks of your tears.

Of my own even.

Hers.

But.

She is horrible.

Truly horrible.

My love, mijn liefde, my golden eyes, mijn gouden ogen.

Ik ben het leven en de dood.

Ik heb je lief, zo lief.

Why is going back to Belgium always so traumatic?

So fucking traumatic.

Must be me.

Must be.

Even tho.

Nochtans.

Ik heb je lief, zo lief.

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